Paul West, a young Englishman, arrives in Paris to start a new job — and finds out what the French are really like.

They do eat a lot of cheese, some of which smells like pigs' droppings. They don't wash their armpits with garlic soap. Going on strike really is the second national participation sport after petanque. And, yes, they do use suppositories.

Less quaint than A Year in Provence, less chocolatey than Chocolat, A Year in the Merde tells you how to get served by the grumpiest Parisian waiter; how to make amour – not war; and how not to buy a house in the French countryside.